This piece is from the score of the original stage musical The Right Circles. It is performed by the character Josey, and part of The Audition suite of selections:

• The Audition (Part 1)
• The Audition (Part 2)
• Filet of Soul
• The Ice Cream Song
• Ready and Willing
• The Audition (Part 3)

Listen to .mp3 sample of Ready and Willing from the Demo Recording.

See the The Right Circles post for Demo Recording performance credits.

Lyrics & Book Excerpt

JOSEY: I’ll be singing “Ready and Willing” from Larry Gold’s
“The Better Mousetrap.” Music starts: “Ready and Willing.”
I know you’re a man who’s very tough to please
Had enough of girls who only aim to tease
But in me you’ll find a fantasy come true
Because I’m more than ready and I’m willing too
Tell me what you want no matter how absurd
I’ll bend over backwards if you say the word
Brush me off, play hard to get, but this I vow
I’m ready more than ever and I’m willing now
You must forgive me if I’m coming on strong
It’s just I’m not the kind to string you along
How I crave your gentle caress
If to love is a crime then I have to confess
The sparks will fly ’cause we’re a perfect match
I will set your heart afire, no strings attached
This torch I carry makes me yours ’til I die
Ready and willing am I
Ready and willing am I

© & 2007, 1994 Mark S. Meritt and Richard Hack

This piece is from the score of the original stage musical The Right Circles. It is performed by the character Tyler, and part of The Audition suite of selections:

• The Audition (Part 1)
• The Audition (Part 2)
• Filet of Soul
• The Ice Cream Song
• Ready and Willing
• The Audition (Part 3)

Listen to .mp3 sample of The Ice Cream Song from the Demo Recording.

See the The Right Circles post for Demo Recording performance credits.

Lyrics & Book Excerpt

TYLER:
You may think that ice cream is bad ’cause its sweet
But the milk inside is a really healthy treat
It’s nutritious, delicious, so eat it everyday
‘Cause it’s better than Italian ice
Or sherbet or sorbet
You can eat your ice cream in cups or in cones
It’s got calcium which is good for your bones
So the next time you have some, remember what is true
That it’s made from milk which comes from cows
So ice cream’s good for you
Moo

© & 2007, 1994 Mark S. Meritt and Richard Hack

This piece is from the score of the original stage musical The Right Circles. It is performed by the character Maria, and part of The Audition suite of selections:

• The Audition (Part 1)
• The Audition (Part 2)
• Filet of Soul
• The Ice Cream Song
• Ready and Willing
• The Audition (Part 3)

Listen to .mp3 sample of Filet of Soul from the Demo Recording.

See the The Right Circles post for Demo Recording performance credits.

Lyrics & Book Excerpt

MARIA:
Some people dig them country songs
But I got a beef with that
And your chicken if you’re stickin’
To rock and roll
Yes you is
The only dish for which I wish
Comes from my fishing pole
You skin the scat, you gat
Filet of soul
No bones about it

© & 2007, 1994 Mark S. Meritt and Richard Hack

This piece is from the score of the original stage musical The Right Circles. It is performed by the characters Root, Roderick and Auditioners, and part of The Audition suite of selections:

• The Audition (Part 1)
• The Audition (Part 2)
• Filet of Soul
• The Ice Cream Song
• Ready and Willing
• The Audition (Part 3)

Listen to .mp3 sample of The Audition (Part 2) from the Demo Recording.

See the The Right Circles post for Demo Recording performance credits.

Lyrics & Book Excerpt

TRISH:
I won’t get a part
After that brain fart
ROOT:
The girl had some charm of an airheaded sort
GERARD:
I inspired awe
Sans a single flaw
QUINN:
No doubt that’s why he cut you short
ROOT:
What a varied crew
Do you think they’ll do?
RODERICK:
My dream’s so fulfilled that I’m busting like June
Better than Broadway
ROOT:
I just hope that they
Don’t need buckets to carry a tune

© & 2007, 1994 Mark S. Meritt and Richard Hack

This piece is from the score of the original stage musical The Right Circles. It is performed by the character Root, and part of The Audition suite of selections:

• The Audition (Part 1)
• The Audition (Part 2)
• Filet of Soul
• The Ice Cream Song
• Ready and Willing
• The Audition (Part 3)

Listen to .mp3 sample of The Audition (Part 1) from the Demo Recording.

See the The Right Circles post for Demo Recording performance credits.

Lyrics & Book Excerpt

ROOT: Now, the audition will begin in just a few minutes. We’ll start with monologues, then move onto the musical portion. But before we get any of you up here on the stage, I’d just like to say a few words. Music starts: “The Audition.”
First I must thank you
For all coming to
This theatre to enter my talent contest
It’s an open call
And I have read all
Your bios and I am impressed
Competition’s tight
But don’t get stage fright
I’m rooting for you, from the first to the last
There are no callbacks
Even so, relax
Break a leg and you’ll get in the cast

© & 2007, 1994 Mark S. Meritt and Richard Hack

This piece is from the score of the original stage musical The Right Circles. It is performed by the characters Miranda and Bill.

Listen to .mp3 sample of On Top from the Demo Recording.

See the The Right Circles post for Demo Recording performance credits.

Lyrics & Book Excerpt

BILL: Would you like to go first, or shall I do the honors?
MIRANDA: I’m liberated. Go ahead.
They stand opposite each other at the edges of the board. As each calls out a move, the other follows the direction.
BILL:
Left foot blue
MIRANDA:
This is so tempting, potentially cruel
Right foot red
BILL:
Fine then, we’ll play tit for tat
Right foot red
MIRANDA:
Maybe we ought to make kindness a rule
Left foot green
BILL:
Or do we just hit the mat?
MIRANDA: Not yet.
BILL:
Right foot yellow
MIRANDA:
Stand by me cheek to cheek, follow the chart
Left foot blue
BILL:
Like Arthur Murray dance class
Left foot red
MIRANDA:
Just watch your step and you’re sure to look smart
Left hand green
She dips him backward.
BILL:
I’m gonna fall on my ass!
Bill falls.
BILL:
Don’t think that you’ll succeed
Playing cheap with such a low blow
Letting me drop
MIRANDA:
But look who’s in the lead
You’re below
And I am on top
BILL:
What a fine thank you for all that I’ve done
Right hand yellow
MIRANDA:
And still you won’t tell me why
Right hand red
BILL:
Cooking for two’s so much more fun than one
Left foot blue
MIRANDA:
There’s more than just you I
Left hand green
BILL:
Oh God, you’re pregnant – I’m gonna be sick!
Right foot red
MIRANDA:
I’m not the one who gave birth
Right foot green
BILL:
Okay, I get it, you mean Roderick
Right hand blue
MIRANDA:
Sometimes I think he comes first
With your attention switched
I just hope that you don’t mistake
Me for a backdrop
Bill maneuvers himself over Miranda.
BILL:
You’ve got no right to bitch
You helped make him
Now who’s on top?
Score is tied, positions swap
MIRANDA:
Find me some rope and we’ll really get tied
Left hand red
BILL:
Not in the mood to play rough
Right foot blue
MIRANDA:
Read Kama Sutra and see what’s inside
Right foot yellow
BILL:
Twister is twisted enough
Left hand red
MIRANDA:
Tell me about your day, I’ll treat you right
Left foot green
BILL:
Bribery will get you nowhere
You’ll hit the sheets like you do every night
On your back, legs in the air
MIRANDA:
Just feel how blue you’ll be
She quickly flips him over, onto a blue circle.
Long as what I want is not got
I’m a closed shop
With neither you nor me
On the bottom
Or on the top
Sex will come to an abrupt stop
Once again positions flip-flop
Game is over, and I’m on top

© & 2007, 1994 Mark S. Meritt and Richard Hack

This piece is from the score of the original stage musical The Right Circles. It is performed by the characters Roderick and Root.

Listen to .mp3 sample of The Game (Reprise #1) from the Demo Recording.

See the The Right Circles post for Demo Recording performance credits.

Lyrics & Book Excerpt

RODERICK:
I’ll call next week, I just came for my coat
ROOT:
Answer me now or you might miss the boat
Next week’s too late
So please don’t hesitate
RODERICK:
You’ve convinced me, no more need to hound
My director is found
ROOT & RODERICK:
And working together we’re bound
For success to come ’roundRODERICK:
I’ll call next week, I just came for my coat
ROOT:
Answer me now or you might miss the boat
Next week’s too late
So please don’t hesitate
RODERICK:
You’ve convinced me, no more need to hound
My director is found
ROOT & RODERICK:
And working together we’re bound
For success to come ’round

© & 2007, 1994 Mark S. Meritt and Richard Hack

This piece is from the score of the original stage musical The Right Circles. It is performed by the character Root.

Listen to .mp3 sample of The Bill of Fare from the Demo Recording.

See the The Right Circles post for Demo Recording performance credits.

Lyrics & Book Excerpt

ROOT, happily: Myopic fools! How can they be so shortsighted?
Music starts: “The Bill of Fare.” Ah, well, a fool and his gold are soon parted!
Without rhyme or reason
They go picking their season
They’d be better off picking their nose
Though they think they’re in front
Their cutting edge has gone blunt
‘Cause when you’re in the avant garde then anything goes
The shows that others showcase
They show that they have no taste
They think they’ve got variety, but everything’s bland
But Theatre Wok
Won’t serve that schlock
The plays that grace this place
Are so well done it’s rare that we get panned
They try to get you fatter
Force feeding pu pu platters
But I cut to the meat, they can’t compete or compare
Long as you utilize
Your noodle
That is what matters
‘Cause food for thought is on the bill of fare
The Wok began naturally
I started from scratch and we
Brought many a play to the stage
Since the marquis’s been dim
Some say our future is grim
But I treat the wok so well that we get better with age
My theatre is a vessel
In which ingredients’ll
Combine into a histrionic stir-fry galore
Yet each retains
Its own domain
The flavors don’t wrestle
And less’ll always leave them wanting more
So drop your shopping, stop your looking
You’re set to get a booking
And I’d provide direction oh so extraordinaire
Peruse the menu
Choose our venue
Then you’ll be cooking
Come get your share, help us prepare the bill of fare
For this I swear, success will come to you, mon cher
And if you care for a fanfare just say when and where!
But if you dare to go elsewhere,
You’d best beware and say a prayer
‘Cause I’ll become your worst nightmare
And put you in intensive care
You’ll live your life confined to a wheelchair
Don’t be a square get on the bill of fare

© & 2007, 1994 Mark S. Meritt and Richard Hack

This piece is from the score of the original stage musical The Right Circles. It is performed by the characters Art and Larry.

Listen to .mp3 sample of The Exercise of Art and Larry from the Demo Recording.

See the The Right Circles post for Demo Recording performance credits.

Lyrics & Book Excerpt

LARRY: Ready for lyrics?
ART: Sure! Pardon my ignorance, but how does one normally go about that?
LARRY: Normally, one spends a great deal of time and effort. But we’re not going to do that.
ART: So?
LARRY: Whatever comes off the top of your head. You start.
ART: Where?
LARRY: Start!
ART:
Making up lyrics
All I know is I need a good rhyme
To please my partner in crime
Hey I did it!
LARRY: Go with it!
ART:
Arthur and Larry
Collaborating on their first show
LARRY:
You sing with gusto
While I will play the piano
ART: Wow, that’s bad.
LARRY: With a little work, it’ll be truly awful! I’m just warming up!
Now, my comrade
Is the time to screw our talents up
ART:
Starting from a clean slate
We can both play God as we create
LARRY: The myth begins! You go first.
ART:
In the beginning
Lotsa Gods
LARRY:
A party of four
ART:
Like couch potatoes
For them existing’s a bore
LARRY:
Eternally starving
For a little fun and excitement
The cosmic kitchen
Becomes a place where they invent
ART:
They get out their cookbook
Looking for a tasty recipe
They flip through the pages
‘Til they stumble on humanity
LARRY:
With their spice rack
They begin to add variety
ART:
Gallons of greed
LARRY:
Add a cup of self-righteousness
ART:
An eye of newt and-
Larry abruptly stops playing.
LARRY: Eye of what?
ART: Newt. “Eye of newt, and toe of frog…”
LARRY: We’re creating life, here. There were no newts yet.
ART: Every good potion’s got eye of newt.
LARRY: All right, I guess. Larry resumes playing.
Pour all the contents
Into a large cast iron crock
ART:
Bring to a boil
You get organic soup stock
LARRY:
Stirring for eons
Elements and junk start to congeal
ART:
Finally something
To their godlike palates did appeal
LARRY:
From the mixture
There emerged a form of life ideal!
ART: But ideal for what?
Gods are sadistic
Playful torture fills them with joy
To them a human’s a toy
LARRY:
All throughout history
People thinking that they’re special
That they’re so brilliant
That they control their own will
ART:
But they’re just puppets
For the four gods who pull all the strings
LARRY:
And if they’re fickle
They can put an end to everything
ART:
Then the quartet
Starts another game with a new pet
LARRY: What do you mean?
ART: When they’re tired of playing with Man, they throw him aside like an old Barbie doll, and they get a new toy. Something else they can give hopes and dreams to, only to dash them on the rocks of reality! Something like… cockroaches.
LARRY: Love it! Very Kafkaesque.
ART: Bugs, destined to rule the world!
LARRY:
God, this is easy
My artistic nightmare has come true!
Creating garbage
ART:
God took seven days, but we’ll take two!
ART & LARRY:
What a sly sting
Art is imitating life askew
That’s the icing
On the cake
ART:
No, better yet the coup
de grace!
LARRY:
Cha cha cha!

© & 2007, 1994 Mark S. Meritt and Richard Hack

This piece is from the score of the original stage musical The Right Circles. It is performed by the characters Larry and Art.

Listen to .mp3 sample of Three Historical Figures from the Demo Recording.

See the The Right Circles post for Demo Recording performance credits.

Lyrics & Book Excerpt

LARRY: Perfect! Larry improvises a tune and sings like a Venetian gondolier: “DaVinci.”
DaVinci painted con motto brio
His good friends, they would all call him Leo
He got hungry when he finished Mona Lisa
For his last supper, he invented a pizza!
They both crack up.
ART: That was awful!
LARRY: That’s the point! Come on. Gimme another.
ART: Ah… Napoleon.
Larry switches to a mournful, French cafe sound, and does a Maurice Chevalier impression: “Napoleon.”
LARRY:
He was mean as Atilla ze Hun
Zo he stood a wee five foot one
ART:
But Waterloo caught him unaware
He got kicked in ze derriere
LARRY: Now you’re getting it! How about this? He begins a polka: “Einstein.”
Scientific genius with the messed up hair
Yes, it’s the Einstein Polka
ART: Oh, good Lord.
LARRY:
Theorizing how E equals m-c squared
ART: Stop!

© & 2007, 1994 Mark S. Meritt and Richard Hack